I had this friend who I thought was amazing, but when he told me he cheated on his ex-girlfriend for months, I couldn’t believe it. He seemed like the perfect guy. I understand why people cheat when they can’t take it anymore, but what happened to him? The more I thought about it, the more my self-esteem took a hit.
It made me feel like if he could do that, then maybe there is something wrong with me too? Which is completely crazy, but that’s how the mind works sometimes. I seriously thought over what cheating does to a man’s self esteem and how one can actually deal with it.
What Cheating Does To A Man’s Self Esteem?
Did you know that two-thirds of men say they would cheat if they wouldn’t get caught? A recent study suggests that a man’s self esteem decreases when he cheats.
The study, published in the journal LOVE RELATED , studied male responses to questions about love and romantic relationships.
For example, “I feel desirable as a sexual partner” or “I feel I have solved the riddle of love.” Researchers also asked how often participants cheated on their romantic partners.
Among those who had cheated, researchers then compared their sense of personal wellbeing with that of participants who hadn’t.
They found that men who had cheated tended to rate lower on measures of self-esteem than those who hadn’t. When about positive feelings about themselves as a romantic partner, those who had cheated rated significantly lower than those who hadn’t. This was not the case for women.
“Our findings suggest that men who cheat with their intimate partners perceive themselves as less likeable and desirable as a relationship partner afterwards,” said lead author Dr Craig Morris, of Manchester University (UK) and Cornell University (USA). “
The traditional argument is that once a cheater always a cheater; however our research suggests this isn’t the case as we found that people who cheated in one relationship didn’t necessarily cheat again.”
This also clearly suggests that the more men cheat, the lower their self-esteem gets.
“We can only speculate why we found that it was male cheaters who felt worse about themselves after cheating,” he said. “These men may have feared being discovered for cheating and worried about the damage to their reputation if they were caught.
Or conversely, they could be feeling guilty about cheating on their partner. Either way, they perceived themselves as less desirable relationship material.”
Researchers also considered whether the quality of a man’s relationship at the time he cheated had any effect on his self-esteem after the event. They discovered that men who had more supportive and happy relationships were likely to have higher self esteem if they cheated than men who had been in less happy relationships.
What does this mean for me? It’s a wake up call. If you’re dating someone and cheat on them, that person deserves better. Maybe not from you, but from someone else. Your actions will affect your self-esteem when you finally realize what you’ve done and why it wasn’t right.
If you’re the one who’s cheated on, you need to stop and move on because otherwise, it will hurt your self-esteem as well as their happiness.
I know this might not be what you want to hear but it is the truth. Cheating hurts… a lot!
A lot of people also tend to act if their cheating have no impact on their own self esteem . They do that to justify their action. If you ask them, they will say “I have no feelings towards this person so it doesn’t affect me what so ever.”
But take a look at this article, there are plenty of reasons why your self-esteem is directly related to your cheating. It’s really sad but true!
At the end of the day, you need to do right by your partner and be honest. You may lose them, but then you will get your self-esteem back!
What cheating does to self-esteem?
Cheating will make the self-esteem lower. Cheating causes hurt feelings which causes people to look down at themself. This makes it hard for people to trust each other and relationships are no longer an open book.
The reason i think this is because when someone cheats on you, they are saying that they don’t love you or want to be with you. This can make a person feel bad about them self and could bring down their self-esteem. Also if the person who cheated doesn’t understand how much it has hurt the other person then they will never learn.
What do you think? Do men need to feel wanted and desired by their partner to truly be fulfilled? Let me know what you guys think, I’m dying to hear your thoughts on this!
Reference : What Being Cheated On Actually Does To Your Body
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